Support

Do we support the ones we love regardless of the situation? When you take that vow that through the good times and the bad, you are there to lend support, compassion, love? Listen, we don't always say the right things, we dont always do the right thing but isnt it nice to know that when you do something less than desirable that we have the support from the ones we love? That you always have those arms to fall into? the shoulder to cry on? The still voice that says "baby, its ok, you know I am here for you" What does it mean when that voice says " well, you were wrong in this situation, if there is something wrong with you...fix it. Only when you are right, is the moment I will support you. I love my wife and she knows that. I had a litte falling out with a family member.....I was in the wrong, not the only one who did wrong, but I can only control myself....my words, my actions. Because I was in the wrong, I was left to feel alone. That my feelings were unimportant.....by the one I committed to spend the rest of my life with.

Oh, I cant wait for the day I can look back and read my words and say "Ha, I remember those days, boy what a distant memory"

Containing Thoughts

How come life doesn't come with instructions? Why are some people better equiped emotionally to deal with issues that arise in their lives? I love rollercoasters but I am not a fan when my life is in the front seat. I am man...by all accounts....but have the emotional make-up of a teenage girl, way too sensitive. Way too critical of myself which causes me to take things very personal. My girls are here this weekend which always gives me that lift. Going from full time dad to 4 nights a month dad is hard, cherish the times I have with them, they are not getting any younger.....nor am I. This blog is for me simply to let go....an avenue to release my thoughts, my own inexpensive therapy. It would be a welcome for all if I could stop regretting the past and worry about the future. I am missing the now. Maybe I have dysthymia but am too lazy to talk to someone. We've been married 2 months now and its not easy. Communication sounds easy in theory but troublesome to execute. I love her more than words can show but feel like I am always in her dog house. I try....yet fail. Maybe I'm the problem. I failed my first marriage and I feel like Im failing another. I do everything for this family but it does not seem to be good enough.

Well that felt good.....